The Holiday Disconnect

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year…

It’s finally 2017, and boy am I happy that 2016 is over with! Not to say I wouldn’t do it all over again. In 2016 we have advanced in our careers, moved our family across the country, and taken the biggest leaps of faith that we’ve ever made in our lives. With that said, I’m not flushing 2016 down the toilet – but boy am I excited for what 2017 is going to bring.

A new chance and a new year to do it all over again.

Throughout the holidays, we have been blessed with family visiting us, and us visiting family. Having memorable moments and creating traditions… see how fun we look when I plan on posting to Facebook?

But something I’ve noticed now that everything has calmed down, is the sense of disconnect that I feel with my children. For example, this is how we all look when I don’t plan on posting to Facebook:

Now when I say disconnect, I’m not saying that we don’t talk – or that they don’t know who I am anymore.. but I feel like there’s a piece missing.

Thank you, holidays… what was meant to be a time of bringing our family closer together – the busyness of it all has sort of left us further apart.

Although, you could probably talk to my husband and hear him say that he doesn’t feel this way at all.. perhaps I should have spoken with him regarding this blog before I posted it (haha!) because our kids are always drawn to him and never feel a disconnection with him. I don’t know how it is in your family, but in ours – dad is the fun one. I feel (most times) that i’m the chore-maker, the food prepper, the laundry doer.. but most importantly – the nagger: 

  • Did you brush your teeth?
  • Did you comb your hair?
  • Did you do your homework?
  • Did you put in your rubber bands?
  • Do you have your room picked up?
  • Where is your backpack?
  • Where are your dirty clothes?
  • Take out the trash for me, put away the dishes and clean up your mess.

Yes… that’s me.

With that, I don’t feel guilty that I tell my children what to do… in fact, it’s good for them. According to centerforparentingeducation.org, children who are raised with chores have a higher self-esteem, are more responsible, and are better at dealing with frustration and delayed gratification – all of which aide in greater success in school. In this case, I’ll never stop telling my kids what to do in helping around the house… but what I’ve lacked in doing is interrupting my own agenda, and doing life with them.

As we’ve already discussed, being a stepparent can be quite the challenge. I’ve felt that specific challenge build up over the holiday season and into 2017.. until the other night.

The other night, I told the girls to read their devotional… our youngest daughter has a God & Me devotional that takes her  through the  verse and dissects it with a fun activity so that she can better understand, whereas our 12 year old just has her bible.

“I don’t understand my bible… I’ll wait to read until I start my smallgroup”, she said, when I asked her to read.

The mom flares were raging… first thing, she decided on her own not to do what I asked her to do, and second – I felt as if she were making up an excuse to not read. Instead of automatically getting enraged at her reaction, I decided to come up with a way that would prevent her from getting out of what I had asked her to do.

“I would LOVE to do it with you!”, I exclaimed. “This way I can help answer any questions you have regarding anything that you don’t understand”. We ended up choosing a verse to read, and dissected it, prayed over it, and talked about what it personally meant to us in our life.

It was the best thing that’s happened to us in 2017

This whole holiday disconnect had made me realize that it’s up to me to develop a 2017 reconnect

With that said, I want to encourage you. I’m sure I’m not the only mom out there that allows themselves to be disconnected from their children, specifically their steps. Step back and take a moment to pray and ask God what it is that you can do to reconnect with your children. This doesn’t mean you have to be at their beckon call, but be there for the things that really matter.

You know what happened later on that night? That girl, instead of going to bed (haha! stinker.), stayed up late and read her bible, writing out scriptures of her own and the meaning that she got from that verse. That blessed my heart beyond measure.

So for now – I choose to reconnect for 2017. I’ve taken time off of social media, and i’m discovering a whole new adventure, not to mention a lot less information running through my mind (thank God!)

How are you reconnecting in 2017? What do you feel you need to work on with your own kids? Do you have any testimonies to share of your need to reconnect and how it happened? We’d love to hear it….

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